So- as if I haven't put myself out there enough.... I did it one last and final time, knowing rejection was coming my way. But, figuring that putting the truth out there would help me let go with a sense of completion. Meaning that I've said almost everything I wanted to say. Even though, I didn't get to say everything I wanted to say(I can always say more!)- I still ended a situation that has been completely unhealthy for me for the past 6-7 months.
Now, the dilema that follows is this... how does a nice girl meet a nice guy? Really, I just don't get it. Where? When? Who?
You live this solo life for so long and I can't help but wonder if it makes you incapable of living a life in tandem with another. You build a foundation for yourself, work on a future and somewhere along the journey- your are suppose to sync up with another that's flowing in that same direction!?! Obviously, it happens. Sometimes it doesn't. And, for some it doesn't matter. What about those that it does matter to?
Anyway, I was just listening to Tim McGraw's, "Open Season on my Heart" as I typed the above... which could explain a lot.
Regardless- I am going to keep moving forward. Looking forward to knowing that more life awaits me. Knowing that it really has nothing to do with me. I believe that. And, I know that I am braver than the man i lost- I don't hide from rejection... I don't ignore conflict. Instead, I've met them both head on... I need a man capable and strong enough to do the same.